tag1114's MyCouponsBlog!

Life Begins At 40

tag1114 — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:22:31 -0400

Now that I'm close to being 41 and have lived life as a 40 year old for almost a year, I can say that MY life began at 40. I think for many people, their life is totally settled, as is, by the time they're 40. But my life changed. I started over. And I was 40. And I'm ok with that. My divorce was final about 2 months before I turned 40. I had to learn independence, something that was more difficult than I thought. But I've learned and I'm still learning. I had to learn to be a single parent. Though honestly, I was almost a single parent before being separated or divorced. But it's still a change. I've learned and I'm still learning. I had to learn to do jobs at home that I had done very little or not at all. I've managed to do it myself or ask for help. Yes I've learned and I'm still learning. I've learned to be tough when I have to be and kind when I should be. I've learned to take responsibility for my actions, the good ones and the bad ones. I've learned to enjoy life's simple pleasures. I've learned that I can make decisions on my own. I can make money stretch when the economy is so bad. I can refinance my home, find every bit of paper needed to make it happen, go to the closing and watch as I become sole owner of the home my kids and I live in. It's empowering, it's overwhelming(in a good way), it's the B.E.S.T. feeling in the world. Learning to depend on myself, learning to take care of myself and my kids alone, learning that every decision I make, I make alone. If that decision is good, I celebrate alone, if it's bad, I suffer alone. Yes the freedom I found when I entered the 40th year of my life was incredible. I've had some tough times, bad moments, emotional days but I've also been happier then ever before. My life is not perfect. But it's my life and I embrace it. I'm thrilled to have the chance to start living life at this age!

40 is really not that bad.

I Love Where I Live....but

tag1114 — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 17:35:50 -0400

I've heard the prejudices about people from the South. I've seen TV portray Southerners as less than glamorous. It's frustrating when I see or hear such generalizations of people from the South. Because some of "us" are not like you see on TV. Some Southerners bathe on a regular basis, drive vehicles that do not require a ladder to get into, do not have donkeys in our back yard, do not hunt and have animal heads for decorations and some of us even have fairly decent speaking abilities. Now, with that disclaimer, let me just tell you what has happened in my little corner of the world. Last weekend, gas prices soared as the hurricane threatened the supply of gas. Around my area of Tennessee, many people panicked and went to the gas station and not only filled up their vehicles but also took gas can after gas can with them to make sure their other "vehicles" would have gas. I didn't get caught up in this madness as I had plenty of gas. Some gas stations ran out of gas last weekend but many still had plenty. And as the week went on most gas stations had gas again. Around my mom and dad's area, they were out of gas at most places for the whole week. Again, in my little community all was ok. I assumed that everyone had regained their senses and filled up on Tuesday and by Friday had less than a half of a tank. But since I do courier work, I use a lot of gas. But again, I thought all was OK. Friday night my girls and I had dinner at my parents house. Then we headed out with my parents for ice cream. What do we see? LINES OF PEOPLE GETTING GAS! AGAIN, this weekend. WHAT? I laugh as there's 50 or more cars at this tiny station. But on my way home, I now have less than a quarter of a tank of gas and it's going down quickly. NO problem, I think. Oh that was wrong of me. You see now my little community has no gas. I drove out the little gas I did have looking for gas. I talked to my friend the same night and tell her about my little excursion with no luck finding gas. At 7:30 Saturday morning, her husband calls to inform me that Krogers now has gas. His wife is there and there's about 7 people in each line. I wake up my kids and off we go to get our treasured fuel. And we made it. We waited for about 30 minutes(I shouldn't have laughed at those 50 people in line last night)and I happily have a car filled with gas now.

So what does my southern roots have to do with this? First, I look around at the vehicles in line at Krogers this morning.....BIG trucks requiring umpteen gallons of gas. People buying gas for their 15 John Deere mowers sitting in their yard. People buying gallons of gas for their 4 wheelers, go karts and motorcyles. It made me think: is the mockery on TV and in comedy routines, even on internet forums, correct? Do I live in hillbilly hell? Well, maybe....maybe there's one too many monster trucks in the area. Maybe there's a few too many homes with broken down cars or lawn mowers sitting around....and that part of my southern heritage, I don't like so much. But over all I love where I live. I see that most people are kind to one another and care about each other. I see hospitality and generosity on a regular basis. And there's definitely more good than bad in my hillbilly hell!!

But people....please stop panicking over the gas situation. Please do not think it's necessary to put gas in that van in your yard that has not started since 1982. And please remember that you can only use one of those 15 lawn mowers at once. And by the time the gas in that one mower runs out, there will be more gas for the others. So don't put gas in all of those mowers and leave me and others without gas in our cars....you know the ones that actually start and we use for work and school. And I believe you will be ok if you miss one weekend of 4 wheeling....seriously, it will not leave you in need of years of therapy. And finally, please do not pull up next to me at the gas station and look at me as if you're going to run me over. I realize your truck is big enough to block the sun from the entire parking lot and my car looks like a Hot Wheels car....but I'd rather not have my kids in therapy because you look at us like we're your next victim. Because just remember that your monster truck probably gets 8 MPG while my Hot Wheels car gets 33 MPG!! So if you try to run me over, you'll have to catch me and I'm sure you'll run out of gas long before I do!!

My Favorite Time of the Day

tag1114 — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:15:49 -0400

I know some people love waking up early, beating everyone else in the house up. They love the peace and quiet and have time for a cup of coffee, some reading or prayer. Others love evening time when everyone else is in bed. Again they love the time alone.

For me, I love the time when I pick my kids up from school. A little after 2:00. We come home, they relax for a few minutes, maybe have a small snack, play outside. Then homework begins, we sit together at the table and I help them if or when they need it. Once that's finished, I usually prepare for dinner and the girls play or watch TV. We eat, I clean up and then it's shower time. And usually as a family we watch TV together for a little while before bedtime.

I can't exactly explain why this time is my favorite. I love seeing my girls after they've been gone all day. I love hearing about their day. I love the smile I see on their faces as I pick them up. And I think that because they've been apart for most of the day, they're ready to see each other. And they stay busy in the afternoons so there's little or no time for fussing with one another. And the time we spend together after school is good time, quality time. It's a time of bonding. I feel it and I know they do too.

For me, this time is good too as I know the long, stressful day is ending. I'm able to relax, unwind a bit and enjoy my family. I treasure moments with my kids. Stressful situations in life have made me stronger and more importantly they've made me love my family even more.

So my favorite time of the day is about to begin. My kids didn't go to school today. One has a sprained wrist and one a sore throat. So no homework today. But soon, dinner time will be here and our family time will begin. I hope there's many more days like this in the future!

Fast Forward

tag1114 — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:07:53 -0400

Do you ever have days, weeks, months or even years that you wish you could just fast forward through? I've had plenty of days and months like that. At least moments in days or weeks that I'd like to forget or just get through and get to the next point of life.

This week has been a week I'd like to forget many parts of. There were moments when I thought I just couldn't handle one more problem. There were seconds that I thought I'd have to sit down and just have a good cry. I won't go into my sappy details of life as they're very personal but suffice it to say I'm glad tomorrow is Friday, I'm glad this week is almost over and it can't get much worse than this past week. I remind myself that while things were horrible, I still had lights of hope. I have these two precious children that pick my spirits up just by their existence. I have these adorable guinea pigs that make me laugh when I really want to cry. I have the BEST parents in the whole world. They support me in so many ways and let me just feel like a kid again when I must. And I'm alive, I'm healthy and so are my kids. I realize that while moments get tough, days get hard and weeks become oh so long, that I'm still lucky to have all that I have in life. I really have to push myself hard to see any positive when things go like they have lately.

But hey, it can only get better, as my mom says. She's right. Should I look forward to that? Or should I worry that one more thing may possibly go wrong? I'll go with the flow. I'm a fighter, I'm a survivor and this will all pass. I guess rather than worrying about fast forwarding through these difficult times, I should view them as defining moments in my life. For these are the times, the moments, that make me dig deep and find my strength, it makes me look at what I do have and feel blessed and it makes the small problems just that, SMALL and it reminds to not sweat the little things in life but to save my energy and strength for these tough times.

I know soon enough I'll look back on these times and think "wow, I made it". I've done that many times in the past couple of years. I'll look back and know that if I can survive these moments, I can survivie anything. And I'll be glad to look back on this week and know it's in the past! But if I had a fast forward button for life right now, I'd use it.

Random Thoughts

tag1114 — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:08:04 -0400

Some thoughts running through my mind at the moment.....

1. I'll miss my kids when they go back to school. What I won't miss is all the bickering.

2. I'm a lucky mom with 2 loving kids that WANT to take care of me.

3. Being sick is yucky.

4. It's too hot to go to an amusement park.

5. I hope I always put others needs ahead of my own.

6. My 10 year old made some darn good turkey/spinach "burgers". YUMMY!

7. I love reading other people's blogs, what they did that day, what they had for dinner, what they're thinking.

8. Does #7 make me crazy? LOL

9. I'm spoiled.

10. I have the best parents in the world.

11. Ice cream is wonderful. I've always liked ice cream but this summer ice cream has become my friend!!

12. My waist line does NOT like ice cream so much.

13. I wish I still had time and desire to do consignment sales. I really made good money and have plenty of clothes to put in one. Maybe I'm lazy.

14. I can't believe I get excited over lower gas prices.

15. Guinea pigs have to be the best pets ever!

16. Some days, life is hard and I wish it wasn't. Other days, life is good and I'm glad it is.

17. Summer is almost over and while I won't miss the suffocating hot days, I will miss the summer schedule.

18. My girls register for school on Friday and we're anxious to find out who M's teacher will be.

19. I need to clean house. It looks like a natural disaster right now.

20. I'm glad to have the life I have.

So Quiet

tag1114 — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:54:25 -0400

Things around our house have settled down just a little and it's all so quiet for now. We've survived the first few days out of school, sleepovers, birthdays, trips to Chuck E. Cheese and Build a Bear, the mall and too many fast food places to mention. We've played games, put puzzles together, watched TV and movies, went swimming, played outside and let our imaginations run wild. And now, without being bored, we're just quiet. I think the reality of school starting in a little over 2 weeks is hitting us hard. We're simply not ready. It seems as though our summer break just started. Where did it all go? My girls have a sad look on their face when they think of school and that makes this mom sad too. Buying school supplies, backpacks, new shoes and a first day of school outfit is a tiny bit exciting but yet those long faces linger on.

Tuesday we're going to a small amusement park/water park close to our home. It'll likely be our last outing before school begins. We do have a paid for trip to Chuck E. Cheese's and we might try to get there again before school starts or maybe we'll save it for a pick me up weekend after school starts. But for the next two weeks, my girls and I will be busy enjoying one another, I hope. In many ways, I'm ready for school to begin. I like a little structure, a little peace during the day and the different pace that the school schedule brings. But I will miss my girls terribly. As much as they pick at each other and fuss with each other, they bring me so much delight. We laugh and act silly and even have enjoyable serious moments.

Summer, you've come and gone too quickly. Your hot temperatures will continue on for a while but my girls will be too busy doing homework and worrying about school activities to notice your presence. I guess I'll have to sit back and wait for my favorite season, Fall. All the while, wishing you, Summer, were still around just so I could enjoy that laid back summer schedule with 2 of my favorite people.

So the next two weeks in my house will be ...... QUIET. Just quiet as we soak up the last few days of relaxed schedules, lazy days, long nights and a little too much ice cream. I'll be back to my 5:30 morning awakenings(6:30 for my girls). We'll be back to rushed mornings, packing lunches, brushing hair and teeth, tying shoes and grabbing backpacks before heading out the door. We'll have afternoons filled with homework, lots of whining, stories of what teachers said and what kids at school have done that day. Nights will end earlier and yet days will be longer as there's much more to do. So for now, I'm going to turn off the computer, the TV and all the lights and find my beautiful daughter(my oldest because my youngest is with her dad tonight)and spend some girl time with her. And we'll find the house is all too quiet, just as it will be for me on that first day of school.

Enjoy the quiet times in your life~~

Ever Have One of Those Days?

tag1114 — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 19:20:36 -0400

One of those days where you should have stayed in bed and if you'd of known, you'd never have gotten out of bed? Yes, today has kind of been one of those days. Give me a minute and let me vent, complain and then I'll learn to be appreciative!

First, today was the day we were going to Chuck E. Cheese's to celebrate my youngest daughter's birthday. No party, nothing fancy, just my 2 daughters and myself. We decided to go early because it's less crowded and more enjoyable. We got up, got ready and everything's going good. (see, after a bad day, I have a way of going back and trying to figure out exactly WHEN the day went wrong) We walk into CECs and wait and wait and wait....there's not an employee in sight. And of course you have to wait to get your hand stamped, you can't just go in. Finally, an employee walks in from outside carrying his Kroger bag. Hmmm...were they out of food? Or was he carrying in his lunch? I don't know but he throws his bags down and acts like he's been there the whole time. So I must ask him if he's the only one working. His reply: "no, they're back there, I guess". OK. So I proceed to explain that we had waited about 10 minutes and no one knew we were there. I get a blank stare. OK. Finally as he unhooks the gate so we can go in, he says "sorry 'bout that". Not a good start but hey, we're there to have fun and this won't ruin our day. We get tokens, order pizza(yes for BREAKFAST) and play for quite a while and then eat and play some more. I decided to buy some more tokens, using a coupon I had printed off of the CEC website. The cashier tells me that they can't use those because there's not an expiration date on them. OK. But I printed them off of your website just a few days ago. She shrugs her shoulders, looks at the boy putting the salad out and asks him if she should take them. He shrugs his shoulders(is this a problem that happens after you sniff too much pizza dough?), looks at the girls like "who cares" and she asks him again. He goes through the entire same motions. I said "never mind, I won't be buying anything else". I had already spent almost $50 and all I wanted was a few more tokens without having to take out a second mortgage, you know? I went back and ask for the manager. The girl looks at me with a half smile and says "ok but it'll be a minute. <long pause> He walked down to Circuit City". OK. I laugh because I felt like I had landed at some hillbilly circus. I sit and wait and wait and wait as my kids play games, finishing up their tokens. Finally, some sleepy headed younger guy looks at me and walks over to me, no smile, no hello, NOTHING. I proceed to tell him the same story I just told here. No one to check us in. He very hatefully says "what time did you get here because I've been here the whole morning?" I really thought I would laugh and be a true smart a$$ and say "oh really? You've been here? But no you weren't here when you were at Circuit City, right?????" No, I didn't say anything to him because I knew that would only confuse him. I told him what time we arrived and that I thought everyone was probably in the kitchen. To that, do you know what he said? You want to know? You ready? He says "well, yeah, what do you expect we need to get food ready for people to buy". OK, you are kidding me, right? Now, I'm getting pissed and say "what I expect is for you to have at least 1 employee out here to check your guests in so that we may buy that food you're back there preparing or at least to have a camera in the kitchen so that you can see the guests coming in and come check them in so that we may give you our business". He looked at me like I was some witch on Halloween night. But he gives me no response, which was probably for the best. I then proceed to complain about my coupon, which he grabs from my hand and says "it has no expiration date, I can't help you". Again, I make my case that I printed it from the official CEC website. But it's ok because corporate needs to know about his attitude and inability to manage. He says "it's a corporate rule so I can't do anything." I say "good, all the more reason for me to call corporate and tell them that if they're going to provide coupons, they should at least allow the stores to accept them, don't you think". He looks at me crazy again and I really thought he's probably start growling at me at any moment. He starts to walk off and I say "oh yeah and you may want to tell your employees that it's rude to stand and talk about a customer as they did while you were at Circuit City". He shrugs his shoulders(I am NOT kidding you)and says "I know nothing about that". I said "doesn't matter because their attitudes are just like yours and you don't care so why would they?". At that point, another lady asks him when this coupon rule started because she said she always uses coupons she prints except today because they would not except them. I told her not to ask him because he has no good answers and they're all rude there anyway. She laughs and I gather my kids, their receipts for their tickets and the few tokens they had left and we LEFT. My kids saw how rude the manager was and they were not interested in staying any longer. SAD. You know, CEC's is not a cheap place but it's fun, normally, and considering you get food, drinks, entertainment and prizes, I don't mind going from time to time. I always use coupons though because it's much more affordable and well, I'm frugal. I like to get more for my money. And I would have accepted the coupon rule, never said a word, though I do think it's crazy because those coupons are from the website...but I would have just rolled my eyes and said "oh well". But the rudeness, the attitudes of the employees and manager, the lack of service and customer service that wasn't...it was all too much. I hate it for my daughter, it almost ruined her day but she recovered, LOL!

THEN.....I take her to an area mall to Build a Bear to use her gift card she received for her birthday. On the way there, my car just does not feel right but I thought it was the road, since the roads here are awful. We were only a couple of miles from the mall when the car acted strange anyway. So we go along, go to Bath and Body Works for my oldest daughter who had a coupon for free lotion(she's a BBWs addict like me). We then go to Build a Bear(excellent customer service there) and back to Limited Too for my oldest daughter to use her gift cards from her birthday. She shopped, shopped and shopped and saved tons of money and bought lots of things. So here we go, back through to mall carrying, 2 cardboard "houses" for the bears, a bag from BBW and 2 HUGE bags from Limited Too. We get to the car and what do you know...a flat tire.....yes, that funny feeling was NOT the road but rather my flat tire. Lovely! I called a couple of people who were not home and finally relied on dear old dad to bail me out. My girls and I went back inside to wait for a while and then came back to the car. The entire time we waited, there was 1 person that offered to help and that was after my dad was there. But, it was a sincere gesture of kindness and much appreciated. One man, pulled up before my dad arrived, his wife rolled down the window to ask if I was moving and I said "no, I have a flat tire". That man left so quickly his tires squealed but he managed to say "oh no, god love ya". OK. Maybe he thought I would ask him to help.

I said when I began this that I would vent, complain and then be appreciative. Though today had it's bad moments and trying times and times when I felt like I wanted to cry, I came home to a cool home with 2 beautiful girls, water, electricity, food and a home filled with LOVE. I then began to think about a family I don't even know but have been following their journey on a blog. The husband was diagnosed with a form of leukemia a few months ago. He received treatment and after the 2nd round of treatment went into remission. Though I cannot recall all the details, suffice it to say that he became very ill not so long ago with pneumonia and couldn't go further with treatment until the pneumonia was gone. He passed away yesterday. He had a wife and 3 very young kids. This story broke my heart. I know there's stories like this every day. And oddly enough, I don't know them but still feel their pain. I am human after all and I cannot imagine how his wife and family must be feeling. It put my minor problems of today into perspective. It made me thankful to only be facing a flat tire and rude managers. It made me realize that I can still hug my mom, dad, friends and kids. It made me think about how quickly life can change and how I need to not let minor problems interfere with my enjoyment of life and love. So read my story of today, shake your head or laugh or feel my frustrations but most of all just know that it's nothing compared to what many people are dealing with.

On a positive note: I'm off to watch Big Brother 10!!!

The Bachelorette

tag1114 — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:04:02 -0400

So I do a lot of "heavy" blogs and tonight I felt it was time to lighten it up a bit.

I'm waiting on the finale of The Bachelorette. I love reality TV shows, all types on all channels. I remember many years ago watching The Real World on MTV and loving it and wondering why there wasn't more shows like that on TV. I have no idea why I'm so attracted to reality shows but I am. I'm addicted.

If it's a competition type reality show, I find myself rooting for the underdog, the less than perfect looking guy, the open and honest one. Of course, then I must wonder if that's just how they are for the show. And I also wonder how much is real and how much is "made for TV".

Is anyone else as addicted to reality shows as I am? I've noticed my oldest daughter really likes some of these shows too. My youngest isn't as much into them, she's still in kids shows like Suite Life of Zach and Cody, Hannah Montana, That's So Raven and those popular shows.

Back to The Bachelorette, who's going to win tonight? I saw the show last week and DeAnna said she is engaged and the preview tonight said both men ask her to marry them...hmmm.....ok. Well, I'll know in a little while because off I go to watch!

Happy Birthday!

tag1114 — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:15:18 -0400

Happy 10th birthday to my oldest daughter! You were born at 11:22 p.m. on this day. I hope your day is special.

Thank you, Ms. T for giving me the best 10 years of my life. I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you. Enjoy every day of being 10. I love you!

The Umbrella of Friendship

tag1114 — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:49:47 -0400

My best friend for the past few years has weathered my storms of divorce with me with grace and true kindness. When I suspected my ex of cheating, she said "give me his license plate number and I'm going to see if he's where you think he is". She sat with me for 6 hours one cold Friday night outside of an apartment after finding his vehicle there to watch him come out just so I could prove that I knew what I was talking about, just so my ex could no longer lie to me and just so I wouldn't feel crazy anymore! Yes, she is that kind of friend. All of that to say.....she called me Sunday to tell me that her husband was moving out. They'd had some problems and she had claimed to want a divorce many times in the past but it's hard to go through with such a thing until you have to. She suspected he had a girlfriend but he denied it. She was ready to end the marriage anyway, she needed to do this. Yesterday morning at 6:00 my phone rang. It was her....he finally confessed he had a girlfriend. My friend was a mess, angry, sad, mad, all the emotions you feel when something like this happens. It doesn't matter if you knew in your heart, if you had suspected this all along or not....it doesn't matter until the proof is there and that's when the emotions flood your heart. She had watched me go through this, she had talked me through those long nights, she had made multiple trips out looking for my ex before we finally nailed him, she worried for me and with me, she listened to me, laughed with me and just held the umbrella when life was raining on my parade. And then to have the same thing happen.....it makes a person no more prepared to handle it. I certainly hope I can stand by her as she did for me. I hope in some small way, I can make her feel better when she needs it most. I did give her the number of the best lawyer in our area! Seriously, she will be OK. She will survive and be a better, stronger, more independant woman. But it still hurts like hell. And before that rainbow appears, there will be many days of rain. It's my turn to hold the umbrella for her.